The Fake Martin Scorsese Movie That The Internet Brought To Life

This is a containment breach. That’s the phrase commonly used by those on the microblogging and social media website, when a meme, trend, or sensation escapes the confines of what is often a very insular space and finds its way onto other platforms. or, God forbid, journalistic media. This can signal the time when the fun is over, when the joke is tired and is usually answered with expressions of horror. But to everyone who uses Tumblr and comes across this article, consider it a love letter from a veteran user, because as people witness the phenomenon that has occurred or continues to occur, few have discussed or analyzed how it is coming together. everything and why is so big.


With that out of the way, let’s talk about the time Tumblr made a Martin Scorsese movie.

RELATED: The 10 Best Martin Scorsese Movies That Aren’t Gangster Movies

goncharov (1973) is a historical epic, a postwar mafia film directed by Scorsese and starring robert deniro, Al Pacino Y gene hackman. with the scale of The Godfather and male aggression bordering on Shakespearean deep homoeroticism. coriolanusfollowing the titular Goncharov (De Niro), a Russian mob boss in Naples who has a strained relationship with his fiancée, Katya (cybill shepherd), and an incredibly complicated relationship with his partner, or rival, or old friend, Andrey (harvey keitel). There’s a litany of colorful supporting characters, a clockwork motif reflecting the inevitability of death, a TV Tropes page, hundreds of fan fiction on the Archive of Our Own, and dozens of meta-analyses and fan art.

The only thing goncharov does not have is the actual movie.

Where does ‘Goncharov’ come from?


This is not an actual movie. If you took a few minutes to really think about it, you would realize how unlikely that would be. Scorsese was just a rising star of a director in 1973, with mean streets Coming out the same year, and while it contains some of the same cast, it’s a small-scale crime drama set in Little Italy. He wouldn’t do the historical epics he would be known for until possibly 1980 with raging bull. That is, if Scorsese was the one who directed it; people seem to be divided on whether it was him or the acclaimed film director Matthew JWHJ 0715, whose mother was Italian and whose father, it seems, was a matricula. the story of goncharov It begins, like all good internet meme, as a joke.

Tumblr user zootycoon shops for a pair of knockoff boots online in 2020. Instead of a brand on the boot’s tongue, it reads “The Greatest Mob Movie Ever Made. Martin Scorsese Presents: Goncharov.” This didn’t come out of nowhere, but from a misspelling of a 2008 Italian mob movie Scorsese helped bring to the United States titled gomorrah, Goncharov’s name is shared by Ivan Goncharov, a 19th-century Russian novelist. Of course, the obvious punchline, uttered by the user’s abandoned ambition in the replies, was: “This idiot hasn’t seen goncharov.” Yes of course, goncharov. Don’t you know the movie? goncharov? It’s just the best mob movie ever made.


The post resurfaces a few days ago, and user beelzeebub takes things a step further by creating a masterfully Photoshopped poster that lays out a few important elements. The main cast, the names of the characters, the physical appearance of those characters (which are just the reunited actors from other movies), and the tagline: Winter Comes to Naples.

That was all the ammunition the Tumblr community needed to provide the internet with days of entertainment and creativity. There are no hard and fast rules, and no one enforces them. It’s a great improv game, everyone says “Yes, and” with nothing off the table. Yeah, and there’s a character named Ice Pick Joe (jon cazale) depicting the inevitable cycle of violence, which is also a fan favorite. Yes, and there’s another female character named Sofia who shares a palpable romantic tension with Katya as she chats at a fruit stand. Yes, and someone says: “The clock will strike everyone, including you, Goncharov.”

Everybody just got it

There is a complete document of the Goncharov tradition, which is incredibly well constructed, but almost unnecessary. Whether things are added jokingly or in complete seriousness, those who added to canon understood the assignment. Each described scene could theoretically fit into a 2-3 hour gangster drama. No one is throwing out ideas that are too modern or don’t make sense within the context of the story or the time period it came out. The idea of ​​a Cold War-era gangster film noir already has as many tropes involved that already exist, such as The Godfather Parts 1 and 2, The French ConnectionY Chinatown that the scant footage and images that are apparently from goncharov they’re just pulled from other movies the actors are in, put together in scrapbooks to make them look like one cohesive movie. Goncharov is De Niro as Vito Corleone in the godfather part 2Katya is Cybill Shepherd as Brooke Carter in in the last love. We all know the tropes, character archetypes, style, and symbolism needed to make goncharov seems real, without actually being real. It has the sets and costumes of the 1940s, with the violence and nuances of the 1970s, and a modern fanaticism.


However, no one has written a fully cohesive plot summary for goncharov. While the supporting cast has a fair amount of fanfare, Goncharov is actually the least fleshed out character. Everything is implicit, because no one sets out to do goncharov, everyone involved is part of the Goncharov fandom. Collaborative fiction is that it’s about a long-lost film that has recently resurfaced and caught the attention of moviegoers on Tumblr. The movie, within this narrative, already exists, and all the fans are unreliable narrators with entirely subjective opinions.

It’s highly unlikely that a 1973 movie would have that much gay subtext on purpose, but that won’t stop people from sending Katya and Sofia, or Goncharov and Andrey. As of this writing, there’s no actual script for Goncharov, but that won’t stop people from making fan art or memes out of quotes and metaphors that impacted them emotionally. There is no trailer, there are no scenes, but there is a gene siskel 1973 review, modern Letterboxd reviews, and of course, that classic Tumblr rant. In reality, it doesn’t exist, so you are free to interpret it in any way possible.

As we all watch Twitter take a nosedive under new management, this massive hallucination that Tumblr brought to life reminds us of the positive aspects of social media and the collaborative nature of fiction. would do goncharov being as good in reality as it is in our collective imagination, who knows? Is it a satire and modernization of film noir tropes, pointing out the homogeneity of certain films released at the time, or just a meme? Will this article go out of date immediately, even before it is published? All I can say for sure is that a joke and imitation boots have caused musicians to write movie scores, artists to create fan-art, writers to create entire essays of metafiction, and people to create something out of nothing. , and that’s definitely a bright spot.

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